No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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