Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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