we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
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