...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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