dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
