You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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