Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
