is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
