He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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