help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
