get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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