Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
