I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
