i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
