I must be too annoying 4 u.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize