she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
