His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
