im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
