I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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