When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
