Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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