Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
