When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
