i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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