Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
