Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
