we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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