Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
