And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
