oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i will never coherently bang her
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
