I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
