my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
