she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
