I wish I could punch you in the face.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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