is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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