That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
