i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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