So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
