I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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