is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
