FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
