wat bout pragnant strippers??
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
