Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
