Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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