We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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