So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
