Already got asked if we're dating
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
