I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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