I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
