Whatcha textin bout Willis?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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