he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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