ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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