He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
