One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
