you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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