we should wear snuggies to the strip club
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
