he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
