Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
